7 Types of Rest We Need
When I ask my clients what their relationship with rest is I typically get two responses. One may be a laugh that is quickly followed by a “What rest?” statement. The other is a sigh and an acknowledgment that the person either does not know what it feels like to rest, or has never had the opportunity to examine it.
The fact that these responses are so common is not to blame on the individual. In a lot of places around the world, particularly ones that are capitalistic and Westernized, productivity has been hailed as the pathway to success. A number of phrases and euphemisms exist to reinforce the idea, from pulling yourself up by the bootstraps to the no pain, no gain refrains that spill over the lines of the fitness industry.
The biggest mind trick and tragedy of growing up in a culture that advocates for productivity above all is that it makes people feel guilty and ashamed for wanting and needing rest.
How many times have you found yourself sitting down on the sofa only to be immediately going through your mental to-do list and deciding you’ll rest later? Or looking at your accumulated paid time off (if you are privileged enough to have it) and thinking, “I don’t have anywhere I want to go, I don’t need to take time off. I’ll just keep working.” What about pushing past your body’s signals for rest as you are coming down with a cold and deciding to “power through it” anyway?
These types of responses may signal that you have been conditioned to disregard your need for rest in favor of productivity.
So in today’s blog post, let’s look at the different types of rest that humans need (based on a Ted Talk by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith), what they may look like and how to begin moving toward restoring your relationship with rest so that you are supporting yourself well.
1. Physical rest
Physical rest is putting your body first. This may mean sleeping, napping or sitting down when you are tired. It may mean allowing yourself to be still to see how it feels and what arises for you. It may also include practices that releases tension and stress, be it massage, acupuncture, slow yoga or stretching.
Physical rest can be a wonderful opportunity to build trust with your body. Getting in touch with what your body needs at any point in time and providing it with care can increase a sense of reciprocity between you and your body.
Do you put on socks when your feet are cold? Do you close your eyes when they are tired and need a break from the screen? Do you come back to the breath to see if you need a bit more oxygen in your lungs? These all can be a form of physical rest.
2. Mental rest
Our minds can easily get busy and overwhelmed with tasks, ideas, rehearsals of past and/or future interactions, memories, etc. Many of us have a mind that feels like a browser window with fifteen tabs open, constantly running in the background, taking up our energy and time.
Mental rest means decreasing the load on our executive functioning in order to free up space and energy. How can we close most of those metaphorical tabs to leave only the most important ones running? How much on your to-do list actually needs doing and what is just a “nice-to-have”? Can you give yourself space in between tasks to breathe, take a break, eat, nap? How can you structure your days to cater to when you have the most energy available and leaving other big tasks to other days and times? What tools can you use to offload some of the mental load somewhere else, be it an app, a sticky note or a journal?
3. Emotional rest
Emotional rest comes when we are able to express our emotions in a way that is authentic to ourselves. This means masking less with others and practicing self-expression that is free of (or low on) social expectations.
It may look like going to therapy, where you can allow yourself to share emotions that are true to your experience. Or talk to a trusted friend with who you can be fully yourself. It may mean being still and allowing yourself to actually feel your feelings instead of just intellectualizing them.
4. Sensory rest
We live in a world where our senses are constantly assaulted. We tolerate bright lights and loud cars, the hum of electricity that never ceases or the sounds of neighbors fighting next door. We see pop-ups and ads many times a day that invade our senses and grab our attention, and all of this adds up. Our senses can overwhelmed and need a break.
Sensory rest may look like unplugging for a predetermined amount of time. It may mean going out to nature to lower the sensory input or swap it for a more pleasurable one. It can look like using a weighted blanket, an eye mask or ear plugs to decrease sensory input.
5. Spiritual rest
Spiritual rest is the type of rest that allows us to connect with something we find deep resonance and meaning in. For some it may be a forest of old growth trees, for others a pew in a local church. Spiritual practices vary wildly based on your culture, traditions and ancestry, as well as what you admire and aspire to be.
Take a moment to reflect on where you find meaning in a spiritual sense and how you can add that type of rest to your self-care practices.
6. Social rest
Social rest can look both like resting with others and resting from others.
Resting with others is interacting with other humans around whom you can be authentically and unapologetically yourself. Where all your quirks and idiosyncrasies are exulted rather than suppressed, where you feel true and deep connection with other human beings. A good measure of a time well-spent with others is to mark your energy after a hang out. Do you feel rested, connected and good, as though your energy stayed the same or increased? Or do you feel depleted, tired and morose?
Resting from others is getting quality alone time. We spend so much time around others that we may forget how important solitude is, enjoying activities that bring you joy, or even just spending some time not having to talk to anyone.
7. Creative rest
Creative rest is a type of rest that gets you in the zone, into that flow state where time vanishes and you are in the middle of something wonderful.
It can look like engaging in activities that feed your soul and inspire you, be in painting, ice skating or knitting. Creative rest utilizes the right side of the brain where brainstorming, idea-forming, connection-making can all happen.
What does creative rest look like for you? When have you last felt like you were in the flow state? It’s also possible that this type of rest is available to us when we have filled the other rest buckets, freeing up the mental and physical space to engage in creative rest.
The list above is not all inclusive but a good place to start. Noticing that you have different needs and that each of those may require a different form of rest is the beginning of awareness toward a better self-restoration practice.
It is also likely that many things you enjoy contain multiple forms of rest in them. For example acupuncture may fill both the physical and the sensory rest buckets for you. Yoga can be both spiritual and physical. Writing can be both creative rest as well as mental.
You get to determine what is restful for you and in what form. Time to get curious around your own relationship with rest, and taking stock of where has rest been lacking and how can you gently and intentionally begin to reincorporate it into your daily life.